Is This Ache A Gift?

Have you ever wondered if the ache that comes after leaving those you truly love is a gift? i mean to be so torn, to have loved so deeply that now you wonder what to do with it all. i am wondering as i ache, as i hurt if He is longing to transform all of this. To partner with His sufferings. hmmmmmm. But i feel so lost and crying seems the only thing that can come close to expressing whats on the inside. If only i knew what was really going on inside. What is true i remind myself of - He is beautiful, near, good, mine...it's true i have felt it and seen it with my own eyes. It is durring these times that i must cling with all i have to what i know is true because my feelings decieve me.